‘I am not enough to hold his attention’: Woman’s Husband Makes Several Inappropriate Comments About Another Woman in Front of Friends, Tells Wife She's Exaggerating

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Aug 13, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

"In my eyes, he was fawning over another woman while I was just in the next room."

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • When we get into the groove of things without partners, it's sometimes difficult to find a sweet spot between complacency, normalcy, and excitement. For those especially in monogamous relationships, this sweet spot could be even a bit scary to embark on. Though random spurts of boredom in relationships are nothing to be ashamed of, how either partner works through this boring period can tell you much more about your relationship than you think. Sometimes, it's not even boredom. It's simply strange and suspicious behavior.

    The woman in this story is seeking advice after a weekend away at a wedding with her husband, his old buddies, and their wives. One of his friends brought a woman he had been seeing for only about two weeks, Jess, and the woman expressed that Jess made no effort to hang out with the rest of the ladies. Throughout the entire weekend, the woman's husband could not stop talking about Jess, complimenting her alone and in front of his wife, and even had remnants of glitter from Jess's dress on his lip. After the woman gets suspicious, he does what all men do: tell her she's overreacting. Scroll to read the whole story.

  • 01
    AIO about the attention/interest my husband gave another woman on a trip we took together?
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 02
    My (33f) husband (33m) and I just got back from a trip to attend a wedding. The groom was an old military buddy of his, so I got to see/meet some of his other military friends and their respective wives or girlfriends. One of his buddies brought a girl he had only been dating for 2 weeks, and my husband couldn't stop bringing her up. We'll call her Jess.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 03
    We originally all met for a large group dinner the night before the wedding, then headed back to an Airbnb to hangout. All the women in the group hung out in one room to give the guys a chance to catch up. All except Jess, which is a habit that continued for the rest of the trip. At one point I walked in to the kitchen where the guys and Jess were to grab myself another drink, and heard my husband complimenting Jess's smile. She was self deprecating, my
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 04
    husband doubled down, and then turned to me and asked, "Doesn't she have a nice smile?" Of course I agreed, and this didn't immediately set off any alarms. It's not uncommon for either my husband or myself to give someone a compliment. However, between that compliment around 11pm and before the wedding the next day at 4, my husband would bring her appearance up to me another 5x.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 05
    After doing the math and accounting for the fact that we slept 8 hours, that means that in a total of 9 waking hours, I heard my husband bring up another woman's appearance 6x, or an average of every hour and half. While I was only present for the smile compliment, I know he also complimented her eyes and how she looked like she threw around a lot of weight in the gym. How do I know that? Because he told me when he was bringing her up to me. He talked to me about how she was thick,
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 06
    and was probably going to kick a lot of when she finished becoming a cop. I also know the next day that when we met for brunch and Jess and her date were late, my husband texted his friend, "Tell that thickl Ito put on something nice and revealing and get down here," though he left out and revealing when he originally described the text to me.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 07
    At the wedding itself, I noticed a piece of glitter from Jess's dress on his lip, and asked him how it got there. He was immediately offended that I would insinuate something happened between them, but I brought up how it's not that far fetched, considering the glitter was from her dress and he couldn't stop talking about her. I didn't
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 08
    want to cause a scene or ruin the mood for this special trip where he was catching up with old friends, some of whom he hadn't seen in almost a decade, so I let it go. At the same time, I feel like because I didn't make a big deal at the time, he didn't know how much this all affected me.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 09
    In my eyes, he was fawning over another woman while I was just in the next room. Not only that, but in front of all of his friends, as a public display that I am not enough to hold his attention even when I'm there. He feels free to give his attention to others even in my proximity. I have
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 10
    never been disillusioned to think my husband is no longer attracted to other women, but with him showing this amount of interest in another woman while I am with him that he can't seem to help but vocalize it to me continually makes me feel like his eyes wander a lot more than I thought.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 11
    I know I am not in the shape I was in when my husband and I met. I am still in better shape than most women my age. My stomach is still flat and I am not even close to being overweight, but when we met, I was lifting 5x/ week and was far more toned. Although this girl was more curvy and bulky/ strong, this whole experience has made me more insecure in my body and my relationship than ever. Am I overreacting?
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 12
    Update: I should mention that I did bring things up after we got back to our hotel, and we continued to talk about them during the trip home, as well as after we got home, which was a week ago. My husband is under the impression that he just gave another girl a few compliments, and he wasn't as obsessed with her as I was trying to make him sound. I explained how embarrassed and disrespected I felt, and he did apologize multiple times and tell me he wants me to feel loved and heard, but also main
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 13
    BentBent12 14 hr. ago No. That text was gross. I'd be livid.
    via BentBent12
  • 14
    In-My-Head1465 OP. 14 hr. ago He says it was just "guy talk" and he was just messing around. But I feel like that's more something I'd say to one of my own friends about themselves as a joke, not about their partner.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 15
    • Due-Brush-530 14 hr. ago Guy here. I would never even think to text something like that, and I don't tend to hang around other dudes who talk like that. That's messed up. Also, if the situation were reversed, would he be so cool about you fawning over someone else's boyfriend?
    via Due-Brush-530
  • 16
    In-My-Head1465 OP. 14 hr. ago I asked him about reversed roles. He's either incapable of truly putting himself in my shoes, or is really trying to downplay how it would make him feel so his actions don't look as bad.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 17
    Ali_Cat222 13 hr. ago Excuse me, but no one writes such as- "Tell that thick something nice and get down here" to put on and And then claims it as "guy talk." First of all, if my friend was dating someone and they let the man they were dating just brush that off, what a giant red flag. Secondly, no respectable man with a wife talks like that. And lastly, the fact that he talks about woman like this plus kept bringing her looks up constantly is just horrendous behavior.
    via Ali_Cat222
  • 18
    This is supposed to be your husband, why does he feel so comfortable talking about this in front of you? And why is he so disrespectful, just because you were in the military doesn't mean you can be inconsiderate and doing so he was being both! to your wife. Because in
    via Ali_Cat222
  • 19
    In-My-Head1465 OP 12 hr. ago I feel like this trip and after he has been a completely different person. I feel like I don't know him anymore. He was never like this before. I have never given him any indication that anything of this behavior would be ok.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 20
    Away-Understanding34 · 14 hr. ago Call him out on this. Tell him you feel disrespected that he is drooling over her in front of everyone and that his text was insanely inappropriate. He needs to check himself. Would he be ok if the situation was reversed? You had a lot of trust and faith in him and that has diminished by these actions.
    via Away-Understanding34
  • 21
    In-My-Head1465 OP. 14 hr. ago I have. We've had MULTIPLE conversations about it. He has apologized every time, says he wants me to feel heard and loved, but at the same time it feels like placating. I feel like he doesn't seem to get it, and is just trying to say all the right words. I tried bringing up reversed roles, and he said that because it's common for
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 22
    us to compliment others, he wouldn't think anything of it. If it had only been a single compliment, I wouldn't have cared. But 3 compliments on top of constantly bringing her up? He also doesn't think it was a big deal that it was in front of everyone because they likely didn't notice.
    via In-My-Head1465
  • 23
    Away-Understanding34. 14 hr. ago You noticed so other people probably did too. It sounds like it was blatantly over the top. In the reverse situation, I doubt he wouldn't think anything of it if you were persistent about it. At the end of it, he made you feel like an unattractive fool. He can say all the words he wants but has he done anything to show you he's sorry and that he feels you are attractive? Do you think couples counseling would help you both work through this?
    via Away-Understanding34
  • 24
    • Odd-Improvement-2135 14 hr. ago Ma'am. Your husband is disgusting and if anything, you are UNDERreacting. I would reach out to this girl and find out what else he was inappropriate with her about because this is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sorry. You deserve better.
    via Odd-Improvement-2135

Tags

toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend relationship advice aita marriage drama lies relationship-drama reddit story marriage-drama relationships sneaky aio wedding advice relationship feud reddit thread Reddit hiding toxic relationship
Scroll Down For The Next Article